Imagine if "Sex and the City" took place in a village...the stories just got a whole lot more interesting, right? So, as a single gal in Cyprus, I couldn't resist sharing some stories from me and my friends, which have aptly been named the "Dating Diaries". Some will make you laugh, some will make you cringe and perhaps some will make you learn...because, as Maya Angelou says, "When you know better, you do better." So....
5am. Phone rings. I bolt upright, get caught in a tangle of sheets, attempt to grab my phone with zero hand-eye coordination at this hour, drop the phone, attempt to scrape it off the ground by leaning over my bed and promptly land on the floor next to the phone. At least I can now answer said phone. Someone’s died. It’s the only reason people call at this hour.
Me: Hello (imagine my voice if I smoked a pack a day)
Anna: Sorry, did I wake you?
Me: (Fortunately people can’t see you roll your eyes through the phone) What’s wrong?
Anna: I did something very stupid.
Me: Aside from waking me up at 5 in the morning?
Anna: I just got home from my date.
Me: What do you mean you just got home? It’s 5 in the…oooh…
Anna: Like I said, I did something very stupid.
Me: Okay walk me through it.
I gather myself back into bed, but I am definitely awake now. I should take a moment to point out that Anna is a dear friend from home who also recently moved to the island. She’s about 29 years old, pretty, smart, confident and considered to be the classic good girl, you know, a little conservative and with a sterling reputation. Being one of her closest friends I know that she’s no virgin, but she has only been intimate with men that she has been in serious relationships with and this comes to a sum total of three. So you can imagine my shock when she tells me that she has put out on the first date. I’d also like to point out that I warned her about this guy. But because I couldn’t say this to her due to the state she was in, I’ll just say it to you to get it out of my system: I told you so!
Anna: I don’t know why I did it! You know me! This isn’t like me! I have never done anything like this!
Me: Honey, relax.
Anna: Such a rookie mistake! I’ll probably never hear from him again. What was I thinking?!
Me: I don’t think thought was a big factor here.
Anna: Do you think that was all he was after?
Me: (I hesitate, but it’s too early for me to be sensitive) Yes.
Anna: Shit.
Me: If it was any other guy, I’d say just take it as it comes, but we all know he’s a player. Okay what happened?
Anna: Well, we went out for drinks and he was so nice and attentive…he said all the right things…
Me: Uh huh…
Anna: He said that he thought marriage and children were a sacred thing and he hoped to have a family of his own one day. Why would he say that?
Me: Because he wanted sex.
Anna: And then his best friend joined us for a bit which I thought was odd for a first date, but then I thought that it was great that he was already introducing me to his friends, right?
Me: No, he just wanted sex.
Anna: And then he took me to this cheesy lookout point on the pier –
Me: Because he wanted sex.
Anna: And we ended up at his place.
Me: Because…well, you get the picture.
Anna: He also did the strangest thing before I decided to go in. He said “you’ll notice how I’m not going to say anything now to influence you. This is totally your decision.”
Me: Ugh, gross. And you still went in after that?! That’s like a responsibility disclaimer!
Anna: I haven’t had sex in two years okay.
And that was that. He actually did call back. They went out on two more dates and then he ended it saying he wasn’t “feeling it”. The sad part is that she was really excited about this date. She spent a week coordinating an outfit and I think she was secretly hoping that this would justify her moving to a new a country, like “Look, I made a big bold change in my life and it paid off! I’ll be married before the year is out!”
As I told her, I actually know several happily married couples who did the horizontal jig on the first date. Of course, unlike her case, neither of the people involved were assholes. It’s always a risk, but I think that deep down you know why the guy is there, you know whether he’s interested in you or just himself. Unfortunately our hearts and hormones get in the way of our better judgment. Live and learn, right?
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