You’ve seen them in their natural habitats of bars and clubs, you may have even had the misfortune of dating one, so after years of field work, I’ve put together a handy list of traits to help you recognize them and hopefully, for your sake, avoid them.
Age range: They can start young but by their thirties, they have mastered the art, the older, the more dangerous. The good news is that one day, without them realizing, they become old losers and those are easy to spot.
Appearance: This is the intriguing part, the real Players are usually not the most attractive men. Those are Pretty Boys and they are a whole other topic but fairly harmless. The Players are the bitter boys who were overlooked as youths and had to compensate for their average appearance with character. The problem is that there is no substance to their character, it’s an illusion. Like everything, they have gone for a quick fix with their character too. Go ahead, try to have a full-length conversation with one, you’ll see. Also, they always seem to have a full head of hair, like Samson and Delilah.
Clothing: They dress well, but not too well because they don’t want to give the impression that they care. So picture designer jeans with flip flops for example.
Name: Like a wannabe Superman, you will never know their real name, or at least, they will never answer to it. It is always an obscure nickname or a shortening of their real name. It was cute when they were four, not forty.
Movement: They are never still. They are the life of the party, they talk to everyone and no-one at the same time. Their eyes are always scanning the room for new talent, even when they are talking to you.
Cyber-activity: This varies, but they will either not have a presence on the internet at all, or their Facebook page is a veritable shrine to themselves. Lots of pictures of themselves, as in, just them in the photo, and lots of pictures with cute girls. And statuses affirming what a great free-spirited party of a life they’re having. I don’t know about you, but when I’m having such a knock-out good time, I don’t have time to write about it on Facebook.
Approach: This is the clincher. This is what gets you. He is friendly, upfront, attentive and direct. Everything you’ve ever wanted in a man. He comes right up to you and he flirts and he makes it clear that he wants you. And you feel fabulous because we all want to feel desirable. What you don’t know is that he only wants you until the next girl with a pulse comes along.
The truth is that players are just very insecure men and it is from this insecurity that they have cultivated their many talents and of course their need to validate themselves with multiple conquests. It is also this insecurity that triggers the savior complex in women and draws us to them like moths to assholes. We all want to be the urban myth that turned the bad boy into our adoring angel. Here’s what I say, let him save himself and you go find a real man who is worthy of you. After all, if you take the “Play” out of “Playboy” all you’re left with is…a boy. And who wants that?
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