Interactive TV

A blind person could watch TV with my mother and understand exactly what was happening.

She’s a hard-working lady, so her daily reward and joy is her array of nightly TV shows. From Greek game shows to Cypriot comedies to Brazilian (dubbed) soap operas…and it’s a fully interactive relationship.

This is what it sounds like:

The Game Show:

Mom: Who directed the black and white film “Goodnight and Good Luck”? (all questions are read out loud)

Mom: Ah! I know! I know! What’s his name? Who’s that doctor who won’t settle down? That doctor…what’s his name…oh come on!

And despite the fact that I’m on the other side of the house, I can hear her running commentary and I get roped in.

Me: What doctor?

Mom: The one who won’t get married!

Me: What are you talking about?!

Mom: The one who drinks all the coffee and martinis!

Me: Ma, are you drinking anything?

TV Presenter: That’s right, it’s George Cloo-

Mom: GEORGE CLOONEY!! I knew it!

The Soap Opera:

By now my father is home and sitting next to her on the couch. He doesn’t say a word. I don’t know if he’s concentrating on the show or blocking out my mother, but it sounds something like this:

Soap Actress: Roberto I don’t love you any more…

Mom: *Gasp* She’s leaving him!

Soap Actress: I’m leaving you…

Mom: I don’t believe it!

Roberto: I don’t believe it! (He slaps the actress)

Mom: *Gasp* He slapped her!

Soap Actress: You can’t hurt me anymore because I already have my revenge!

Mom: What did she do?

Soap Actress: I slept with your brother!

Mom: That hussy! She slept with his brother! I don’t believe it!

Roberto: How could you?!

Mom: Unbelievable!

Soap Actress: I have to go Roberto, don’t try to follow me…

The tension in the room is palpable. My parents' eyes are wide and unwavering, their mouths slightly ajar. The big-haired actress storms out the room and my mother finally lets out a breath of air and sinks back into the couch. My father blinks and tries to process it all.

Mom: This is such rubbish, I don’t know why we watch this!

Dad: Who’s Roberto?