Pushing Buttons

Suffering for your art can come in many forms…mine looks like this: moving in with your parents at the age of 30 so you can make a feature film. I actually adore them for supporting me and it’s an especially big deal when your parents are Greek. They haven’t a clue as to what it is that I really do, (for many years they told people I taught French…I don’t know why), but they support me anyway.

Of course, the day to day reality is another story. Imagine two people who are polar opposites bound to each other for decades and who are still able to push each other’s buttons.

I have a literal example of this. All you need to know for this story is the following:

•         My mother spends her life in the kitchen.
•         My father spends his life in front of the TV.
•         My father is a little hard of hearing but that’s not a problem because my mother only has one volume: loud.
•         The number “6” is pronounced “exi” in Greek. The word “exit” as pronounced with a Greek accent sounds exactly like the number “6” in Greek; the “t” is left out and people say “exi”.
•         Both the number “6” and “exit” are buttons on a standard TV remote control.

Still with me? Good.

So we recently switched from analogue to digital television in Cyprus. This resulted in weeks of intensive training for my father on how to use the new remote control, despite the fact that it was exactly the same as the old one. He has the tendency of pushing random buttons, bringing up menus and strange displays. My mother, who was a much better student, knows that all you have to do when this happens is push the “exit” button.

One peaceful Sunday morning, while my mother bustled in the kitchen, my father yelled from the TV room:

Dad: How do I make the menu go away?

Mom: Push exi!

Dad: What?

Mom: (Yelling from the kitchen) EXI!

Dad: Why?

Mom: Just push it!

Dad: It’s not working!

Mom: What are you pushing?

Dad: Exi!

Mom: No, not exi…exi!

Dad: I am pushing exi!

Mom: Not that exi! Push exi!!

Dad: There is only one exi!!

Mom: I didn't say exi! I said EXI!!

Dad: That's what I'm pushing!!

Mom: EXI!!!

Dad: I AM PUSHING EXI!!!

Eventually I had to go in and pry the remote from their hands before it “exited” through the window. Fun times.